Our Oz's Good
by elledottore
Summary: Conscripted to help oversee a penal colony in the Badlands, Second Lieutenant Fiyero Tigulaar helps the convicts find their humanity again by helping them put on a play. AU, Fiyeraba.
1. The Journal of Lieutenant Fiyero T

**Hi! New story! **

**This is based off of the amazing play, Our Country's Good. I just starred in it as Mary Brenham, who is of course Elphaba in this fic. **

**Enjoy! **

Chapter 1

An Excerpt from the Journal of Lieutenant Fiyero Tigulaar

According to Governor Diggs, we are almost out of Quadling Country. I can tell that he is right. The marshes are thinning, bit by bit. Everyone is anxious to get to the Badlands, even the convicts. Major Delva Morrible is eager to start the hangings, which we cannot do until we arrive. We have decided that a convict should act as the hangman, though we have not decided who that will be yet.

Many of the officers have taken up with the convicts. I generally disapprove of this practice, but I never say that, because Private Nessarose Thropp is my friend, and she has many rendezvous' with the prisoner Boq Smitta. Major Morrible isn't fond of Nessa, since everything has to be accommodated for Nessa's wheelchair. Major Morrible isn't really fond of anyone, except maybe Captain Camball.

We have a few Animal prisoners with us: Albress Dillamond, convicted for opposing Her Majesty's Animal Adverse laws. He used to teach at Shiz; I believe I had him for history class. He is a rather young Goat, quite attractive – for a Goat. And we also have a Monkey, Chistery. His crimes were not made clear to me, though I suspect it was just simply being an Animal. Personally, I think Ozma's decrees against the Animals are foolish, but of course I would never say that aloud. Major Morrible would probably grind me up to put in her tea!

Pfanee Mordam was flogged yesterday for being impertinent to Captain Camball. She has long been fishing for it.

Nessa isn't the only Thropp in this wagon train. Her father, Frexspar Thropp the Godly, is here as our moral guide, even though His Excellency, Governor Diggs, thinks he is an ass. I happen to agree. But the most fascinating Thropp aboard is Nessa's elder sister, Elphaba. She was arrested in the Emerald City for theft and black witchcraft. And sweet Oz, the girl is green! When I first saw her, I thought it was a trick of the light, but she is truly grass green! But, in spite of that, or maybe because of it, the convict Thropp is beautiful, in a sense. Her sister and father shun her, I guess for good reason, but Glinda Upland, the perjurer, has latched onto the green girl like glue!

Earlier today, I helped Nessa whip Avaric Tenmeadows for assault. 50 lashes. The other convicts seemed greatly disturbed by this.

I hope we get to the Badlands soon. I miss Sarima and our dear boy, Irij. Hopefully nothing is the matter with them.

Well, I'm off to get a whisky, if Captain Camball hasn't already depleted our entire supply. Oz, is that man ever sober?

**Hope you liked it. Thanks for reading! **

**Cheers, **

**Elle Dottore **


	2. Elphaba

Chapter 2

Elphaba

"I don't see why we had to travel through 600 miles of grassland just to erect another Southstairs." That's what I heard the governor say as we were arriving in the Badlands. I rather like Governor Diggs. He addresses me as Miss Thropp, in the same fashion he addresses all the women convicts, even the whores.

Lieutenant Tigulaar is the same way. Even when he had help flog Tenmeadows, he was extremely respectful and kind. Major Morrible, on the other hand, is an officer we all have learned to avoid. Tenmeadows could barely move when he finished the sentence she had put upon him. Granted, he should not have hit Captain Tenitch and called him a, and I quote, "bag of shit," but Major Morrible is just downright cruel.

Back to the conversation that I was eavesdropping on when we first arrived. "I should think it will make the convicts feel more at home," Captain Tenitch replied. "Now, Your Excellency, Delva is eager to get the hangings over with, and frankly, so am I."

Governor Diggs sighed. "The prisoner Kalidah Freeman has been assigned that hideous office. But Wozkin, you know my feelings on hanging. It disturbs the convicts."

"No, it doesn't, sir." All heads turned to Private Nessarose Thropp. In her brand new military uniform, she looked nothing like the little girl who had been frightened of thunderstorms.

"Elphie," my friend Glinda whispered. "If you want to go …"

"No," I replied. "Let's listen."

"Do you have something pertinent to add, Private Thropp?" Captain Tenitch asked with a smirk.

"I-it's just … the convicts laugh at the hangings, sir," Nessa started nervously. "It's their theatre."

"That's my point!" Governor Diggs shouted. "That's the only thing they've been exposed to! I want them to see fine plays, sentiment! Maybe, if they saw a few good pieces of theatre, they wouldn't go back to their old ways."

Captain Tenitch scoffed. "The convicts never left their old ways, Governor, nor do they intend to! Besides, what actor in their right mind would come all the way out here to put on a play for convicts?!"

Judge Cherrystone suddenly spoke up. "Perhaps we could return to the more eminent problem: the punishment of the convicts, not their education!"

"I admit that some hangings are necessary," Governor Diggs said with a sigh. "Nessa, who are the condemned?" He called her Nessa! Only Father and I had ever called her Nessa!

Nessa cleared her throat. "Phantus Barretti, age seventeen, convicted for serial stealing."

"Seventeen?!" Governor Diggs looked shocked.

Captain Tenitch snorted. "It does seem to prove that the criminal tendency is innate."

"It proves nothing. Go on, Nessa."

"There is Manda Backker," Nessa continued. "A rare woman convict who's not a witch or a whore. She was a ringleader of thieves in Qhoyre." I picked up on the distain in her voice. It was well known that Manda Bakker and my sister's convict-husband, Boq, had a history.

"Oh, I've heard of her!" Judge Cherrystone exclaimed. "Highly infamous. I'm surprised she wasn't hanged in Oz."

"Elphie," Glinda whined. "Let's go before _we _get on that condemned list!"

"Oh, alright!" I admitted. "Let's head to the women's camp." We might as well get set up there, I decided.

But on our way, we ran into Liir Dillamond, the Goat and Animal rights activist, who looked like he was building himself a hut. "Hello, ladies!" he called out to us.

"Hey, Dillamond!" Glinda squeaked, pulling me over to where he was. "My, don't you look as busy as a beaver!"

He shrugged. "I just refuse to live in cohabitation, and the Governor agreed to let me build something for myself." Dillamond's eyes lit up when he registered who I was. "Say! You're Elphaba Thropp! The reading girl! Here, read this. I wrote it on the journey." Without waiting for me to reply, he handed me a sheet of parchment. It read:

_At night? The horses' hooves still beat against the ground. Spewed from our country, bound to the dark edge of the land. Alone, frightened, nameless in this stinking hole of hell. Take me, take me inside you, whoever you are. Take me, my comfort, and we'll remember Oz together. _

"Wow!" I breathed. "This is … really good!"

Dillamond seemed greatly encouraged by that. "You really think so?"

"Of course! I think you accurately captured what we were all feeling on the way here."

"What does it say?" Glinda asked. "Come on, Elphie, you know I can't read!" So I read it aloud to her, and I could tell that she was enthralled by it. "You know what I think? Dillamond, we were just spying on some of the officers 'cause we're bad girls that way, and they're thinking about putting on a play! So, I think you should write it, and Elphie should be the star!"

"Oh no, Glin," I protested. "I'm not the star of anything!"

"Writing a play sounds intriguing," Dillamond said thoughtfully. "I'll think about it. And Elphaba?"

"Hmm?"

"Once I finish my hut, you're welcome to come over and … read." He grinned nervously.

I smiled back. "Alright, I will." Maybe prison wouldn't be that bad after all!  
>"Dillamond likes you!" Glinda singsonged once we were out of earshot. "Didn't you see his face?"<p>

"Stop it, Glin! I'm in prison! I'm not going to be entertaining anyone!"

Glinda smirked. "Not even Lieutenant Tigulaar? Come on, I've seen the way you look at him!"

"Like he's said two words to me. He's a married officer. And I'm …"

"If you say green, I'll slap you." We laughed together, and arrived at the women's camp.

A few months later, I got a summons from Lieutenant Fiyero Tigulaar about a play, called _The Recruiting Officer_. And to tell the truth? I was thrillified.


	3. Fiyero

Chapter 3

Fiyero

The night before the first audition for _The Recruiting Officer_, I was awake in my tent, reading _The Oziad _and trying to write a letter to my darling Sarima, but neither of those things were a success. Yes, my mind was preoccupied with the upcoming auditions, but I also heard … something. Laughter. Distant, but still, distracting. It sounded like a woman; it was a high pitched cackle, like an old hag, yet somehow I could tell that the woman was young. Could it be Pfanee Mordam, the thief? No! She never laughed! It was the green girl, Thropp, of course! What a unique laugh …

"Fiyero?"

"Huh?" I nearly jumped out of my skin as I turned to see Nessa sitting in the outskirts of my tent.

She grinned. "Hope I'm not interrupting anything. May I come in?"

"Oh, of course! Please do!" I hastily moved some junk out of her way as she rolled in. "You hungry? I have some biscuits …"

"No thanks, I'm not all that hungry," Nessa said thoughtfully. "You have a journal, don't you, Fiyero?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I wish I had the patience for a journal. It would fill volumes, volumes! My travels with Captain Diggs … Oh, I know he's the governor now, but I still just call him plain old captain. He likes that." We shared a smile. Once in a while, Nessa just had to vent, and I had to listen. "Boq has gone silent on me again. I try to tell him that he should be grateful! I saved his life, you know?"

"I know."

"He was arrested in Restwater for stealing two golden candlesticks. He was going to be hanged, but I got his name put on the transport list. I was already deposed at this point, but I still had some influence. But every time I try to remind him of that, he says he doesn't care. Eighteen years old, and he does care if he lives or dies!"

I tried to change the subject. "You know, Nessa, I think Boq would be good in the play."

She looked absolutely horrified at the idea. "With Pfanee Mordam? Glinda Upland?! Sweet Oz, Fiyero, do you think I am mad?! I don't want him looked at by all those women!"

"Then, how about a small role? A servant, perhaps?" One must try to be reasonable with Nessarose Thropp, if at all possible.

"Would he be noticed?"

"Not in the least," I said confidently. "Nessa, you know I'm going to try out your sister for the play as well. I think she would be good for Silvia."

"I don't have a sister." It shocked me how sincere she sounded.

I sighed. "Come on, Nessa, she may be a criminal, but she's your sister! Your elder sister! Can you at least acknowledge her?"

"Father disowned her, actually," Nessa said coldly. "So therefore, she's not my sister. And this is the last time I'm talking about this. Fiyero, I saw her last night."

"Elphaba?"  
>"No. Manda Backker." And this was another thing about Nessa. She was a bit of a schizophrenic.<p>

"You hanged her a month ago, Nessa."

"She had a rope. She's come back. She wants Boq, I know! That's what she said on the day she was turned off: 'Boq wants me,' she said. 'He'll always want me.'"

"You should keep these things to yourself, Nessa."

Then I think she realized that she had said too much. "I'm sorry, Fiyero. I think I'll go now. It was good talking to you, though. I like you. Do you know how rare it is for a man and a woman to have a completely clean friendship? I like what we have."

"I'll see you tomorrow, Nessa."

"See you."

My first prospective player the next day was Yackle Long. She was an older woman, sort of a mother to the other women in the colony. And she was a whore. "I heard you was asking for some women, Lieutenant," she cooed, as if she was still out on the street. "Well, here I am!"

"You don't understand, Long," I said patiently. "I would like some young women to act in a play."

"Oh, you don't want young women for your peculiars, Lieutenant. They don't know nothing." She leaned into my face so hard that I could smell her awful perfume.

"No, I would like some women to play certain parts in this play." That was a poor choice of words, it turned out.

"Oh, I can play, Lieutenant. I can play any part you like!" Oz, what had I signed up for? "You know, we all thought you was a magecull."

"A what?!"

"A prissy, a girl. You having no she-lag on the way here. On the way here, maybe you was motion sick. But three months here? And now you want many women at once? I'm very glad to hear that, Lieutenant! You just let me know when you want Yackle. Old Shitty Yackle." She walked slowly away, moving her hips as she went. _Well, that was pointless. _

About a half hour later, Avaric Tenmeadows bounded into my yard. "Hello, Mr. Tigulaar!" he exclaimed. "I call you Mr. Tigulaar as one calls Mr. Garrique Mr. Garrique."

"I've seen you in the wagon."

"Different circumstances, Mr. Tigulaar. Best forgotten. I was a gentleman once, a pickpocket, the top of my profession. Then, my fortune turned, the wheel. You're doing a play, I hear!"

"Yes, I am. Tenmeadows …"

"Ah, I have seen many plays in the Emerald City! You could call me a theatre expert. Oh, how I miss the hoi ploi of the EC! Mr. Garrique, ShenShen Wadding. He was so cruel to her, and she was so pale!" Oz, did this burnt out place impair people's ability to get to the point?!

"Tenmeadows, I think you would be good for the role of Worthy. Do you want it?"

He acted like I had just offered to make him the Ozma Regent. "Oh yes, Mr. Tigulaar! Yes, let me perform on your stage! Let me feel the thrill of a play about to begin! But I see ladies approaching. Our future Waddings! Ladies!"

Tenmeadows did a vast bow, but I barely noticed. The two ladies of whom Tenmeadows was speaking of were Glinda Upland … and Elphaba Thropp.


	4. Elphaba's Account of Her Audition

Chapter 4

Elphaba

What were my exact feelings the day of my audition? It's hard to say. This was something that Glinda was enthusiastic about, not me. But still, Lieutenant Fiyero Tigulaar! I wasn't about to make a fool of myself in front of him. Once Tenmeadows left, bowing extravagantly, Glinda spoke up. "You asked to see Elphaba Thropp, Lieutenant. Here she is!"

"Yes, I was thinking about her for the role of Silvia," Lieutenant Tigulaar said, sounding like he was recovering from a shock. "Have you seen any plays, Thropp?"

"Yes," I said, suddenly feeling extremely shy.

"Can you remember which plays you've seen?"

"No." I honestly couldn't remember. It was just … Lieutenant Tigulaar had such blue eyes! How could eyes be that blue?

"I don't remember what they were called, but I could always tell when they were going to end badly," Glinda said. "How does this one end, Lieutenant?"

"It's called _The Recruiting Officer,_" he replied. "It ends happily."

Glinda gave one of her habitual hair tosses. "Elphie wants to be in your play, Lieutenant, and so do I!"

"Do you think you have a talent for acting, Thropp?"

"Of course she does! And so do I!"

I could tell that Lieutenant Tigulaar was getting irritated. "Do you know _The Recruiting Officer, _Upland?"

"Nooo … but in all those plays there's a friend. A girl needs someone to talk to. So she talks to her friend. So I'll play Elphie's friend."

"Silvia, that's the part I want to try Thropp for, doesn't have a friend. She has a cousin, but they don't like each other very much."

"Oh, Elphie doesn't always like me."

This was getting nowhere. "Lieutenant Tigulaar," I started quietly. "May I please audition now?"

He looked extremely relieved. "Of course! Here's a script for you. Your father tells me you can read and write?" Delicately, I took the small golden book. I would hate to damage it in any way.

"Ye-."

"Of course she can! She used to read to us in the wagon! We loved it! It put us to sleep!"

"Thank you, Upland," Lieutenant Tigulaar groaned. "Thropp, let's do Act One, Scene 1. Here, I'll read Justice Balance."

"Ooo, is that her lover?"

Lieutenant Tigulaar sighed. "No, Justice Balance is her father."

"What's the name of her sweetheart?"

"Captain Plume."

Glinda squealed. "A captain! Elphie!"

Nervously, I turned to the first scene and began to read. "'W-whilst there is life, there is hope, sir.'"

"This is gonna be a good play, I can tell!" Glinda interjected again.

"Shh!" Lieutenant Tigulaar exclaimed. "She hasn't finished yet. Start again, Thropp."

I cleared my throat, determined to do better. "Whilst there is life, there is hope, sir. Perhaps my brother may recover.'"

Glinda squealed again. "Well said, Elphie, well said!"

"'We have but little reason to expect it,'" Lieutenant Tigulaar began, glaring at Glinda. "'Poor Owen! But the decree is just. I was pleased with the death of my father, for he gave me twelve hundred pounds and an estate, and now I am punished with the loss of an heir to inherit mine.'"

I was confused. "Pounds? That's not like any Ozian currency."

"This play is from the Other World, where the governor's from," Lieutenant Tigulaar explained. "So twelve hundred pounds would be equivalent to about … eighteen hundred Ozma coins." He chuckled. "This is a comedy! They don't really mean it!"

Glinda snorted. "Eighteen hundred Ozma coins! It must be a comedy."

"Upland," Lieutenant Tigulaar warned. "Now, Thropp, I would like to hear a little more. If you would turn to page 65, but this time, maybe you could be a little louder. Start there."

"'My desire of being punctual requires that you would be plain in your commands, sir,'" I read, trying not to look at Lieutenant Tigulaar's perfect fingernail.

"Good, Thropp. You read very well." He smiled at me, and that rendered me powerless to resist grinning broadly back. "Will you be able to copy the play as well? We only have two copies."

"Of course she will! Now, where do I come in, Lieutenant?" Glinda whined. "The cousin?"

"I'm not sure you're right for Melinda, Upland," Lieutenant Tigulaar said pensively. "What about … Rose?"

"Ooo! Rose! What an amazifying name! Who is she?"

"She is a country girl."

Lieutenant Tigulaar and I both cringed at Glinda's ear splitting squeal. "Eeeee! I'm from the Pertha Hills, Lieutenant! I'm PERFECT for Rose! What does she do?"

"She … well, it's complicated." Lieutenant Tigulaar sat down. "She falls in love with Silvia. But that's because she thinks Silvia is a man. And she … they … she sleeps with her." Sweet Oz, the lieutenant was beginning to blush! I couldn't help but laugh. "Rose … with Silvia. Silvia too … with Rose. But nothing happens!"

Glinda started laughing too. "It doesn't? Nothing?"

"Well, of course not! I mean, she can't …"

"Play the flute? She's not the only one around here! I'll do Rose. Come on, Elphie." I really wanted to read some more of the play with Lieutenant Tigulaar, but that probably would have resulted in Glinda having a stroke, so I obediently started following her out of the lieutenant's yard.

"Wait! I'm not sure I want you in the play, Upland! If you can't read …"

Glinda turned and grinned. "Elphie will read me my lines, Lieutenant. And I will read you your dreams." I flashed a small smile at the lieutenant, and we turned to leave again. Only to find Pfanee Mordam in our faces. Eeep.

"Ah!" Lieutenant Tigulaar exclaimed happily. "Here's your cousin."

"What?" Glinda shrieked. "You can't have her in the play! You don't have to be able to read dreams to know to know that Pfanee Mordam is going to be hanged!"

"Shut your pie hole, Blondie Upland," Pfanee growled before addressing Lieutenant Tigulaar. "You want me in the play, Lieutenant? Is that it? I'll take a look at it and let you know." She swiped the lieutenant's last script, and then bumped Glinda on her way out. Maybe it was my illegal powers or maybe it wasn't, but I was starting to get a very bad feeling about Pfanee Mordam.


	5. The Merits of Theatre

**Hi! Sorry! I'm the WORST updater ever! First midterms, and then … stuff. Of course, I'm also working on two fics at once. What's the other fic, you ask? Well, if you've read The Little Witch, you know that's it's about a certain OC! Coming soon! **

**I don't own Wicked or Our Country's Good. Sad face. **

Chapter 5

Fiyero

As soon as I entered the officers' dining room on the night after the auditions, everyone stopped talking almost immediately. I could literally feel everyone's eyes on me. _Ignore them. _I grabbed my ration of soup, sat down and began to eat.

"Lieutenant Tigulaar!" Governor Diggs greeted me cheerfully. "Good evening! How did the auditions go?"

"A play!" Major Morrible fumed. "A frippery frittering play! What in Oz is the purpose of doing a play?"

"It's to celebrate Ozma's birthday," I said bravely, hoping Major Morrible wouldn't kill me right then and there. "What harm can it do?"

"If more supplies don't arrive soon, we'll all be struck with strippering starvation! And you! A play?! You want the consummous convicts to act in this play?! The convicts!"

Captain Camball added his two coins. "Discipline's bad, very bad." Drunk, as usual.

"This play has several parts for women," I insisted. "There aren't any other women here except for the Major and your youngest, Brother Frexspar."

"My daughter abhors anything of that nature!" Brother Frexspar exclaimed indignantly. "Actresses, after all, are not famed for their morals."

"Neither are our women convicts," Judge Cherrystone pointed out.

"How can they be when _some_ of our officers set them up as mistresses?" Frexspar looked pointedly at Lieutenant Longroad. Everyone knew that Lieutenant Longroad was involved with the convict ShenShen Avrems. He turned beet red.

Major Morrible exploded. "Filthy, thieving, lying whores, and now we have to watch them flout their flitty wares on the stage!" Oh Oz, she was furious! Yep, I was a dead man.

"Calm, Major," Governor Diggs said, trying to prevent the situation from escalating even further than it already had. "No one will be forced to watch the play."

"But I oppose the play as a whole!" Major Morrible shouted. "This is a convict colony! The prisoners are here to be punished, and we're here to make sure they get punished! Honestly, Jemmie! Plays!" She turned to Captain Camball for support.

"War … service … Gale Force," Captain Camball slurred, taking a swig of his bourbon. "Her Majesty!"

"We are here to supervise the convicts!" Governor Diggs argued. "They are already being punished by their long exile."

"A crime is a crime!" Captain Tenitch exclaimed. "You either commit a crime or you don't. If you commit a crime, you are a criminal. Surely that is logical! It's like the savages here. A savage is a savage because he behaves in a savage manner!" I had seen the Badlands' native people from a distance, and they had not seemed all that savage to me. But maybe Tenitch knew something I didn't.

"They can be educated, Wozkin." His Excellency's teeth were gritted, and I could tell that he really did not like Captain Tenitch. "And so can the convicts."

Tenitch stood up angrily. "Fine! Educate them! But teach them practical things! Teach them to build houses and roads! Teach them not to eat a week's rations in one sitting. It is just not necessary for the convicts to be sitting around laughing at a comedy!"

"Let me tell you something about the world where I come from," Governor Diggs said, getting comfortable. "There was this civilization known as Ancient Greece. In Ancient Greece, there was a city state called Athens. And in Athens, there was this grand theater known as the Theater of Dionysus. It was a citizen's duty to watch a play!"

"And from what I can recall, Oscar, these 'Greeks' were conquered by the Rom-mains, who were much more practical!" Sweet Oz, what had I started?

"And then the Romans were conquered by barbarians."

"Are you saying that this 'Rome,' this great empire that you always go on about, that it would not have fallen if the theatre had been better?!" I couldn't take much more of this.

"Why not?!" I exclaimed, shocking everyone. "In my own small way, I might be able to change things. Just today, I had some of the women read me some lines. And some of them, not all, but some of them started to gain some humanity back! There was one, Elphaba Thropp …" I saw Brother Frexspar's jaw tighten, but I went on anyway. "She read so well! Maybe this will stop her from selling herself to the first Gale Forcer who offers her bread!"

"She'll sell herself to him instead," Faddie murmured. I shot him a glare. I respected Thropp to much to hire her as my whore.

"Well, if you want my opinion," Frexspar started. "I've read _The Recruiting Officer_, and I think it's alright. It sanctions Holy Matrimony, which the Unnamed God smiles upon."

"It also sanctions insubordination!" Major Morrible shrieked. "Revolution! I'm writing to the Head Gale Forcer about this!" And she stormed out of the dining room in a rage.

"Well, we all know how Delva feels about the play," Judge Cherrystone remarked. "Does anyone else have any objections?"

There was a slur from Captain Camball. "I … I … Delva … confusion." He stumbled out after Major Morrible.

"Right, that's a 'nay' from Captain Camball. Anyone else?"

"I don't trust the director," Lieutenant Faddie said. _Oh, Faddie, you are just asking for a broken nose! _

"Waste of time," Tenitch added.

"Well, since we've agreed it could do no harm, since it could possibly do some good, I think we should let Lieutenant Tigulaar carry on with his play." Wait a second, what this actually … going in my favor?

"I agree, Trapper," His Excellency said. "Good luck, Fiyero."

I didn't know what to say. "I … um," I stuttered. "Thank you, Your Excellency! Thank you very much! I'm … gonna go to bed now." I stood up to make my escape.

"Yes, a director needs his sleep!"

Still dazed, I started making my way to my tent. I was now officially in charge of this play, which could either turn out a success or a train wreck. And now I was on Major Morrible's bad side for good, when I already was petrified of the woman. His Excellency wanted Pfanee Mordam as Melinda, and I had no idea how I was going to manage her! But all that didn't seem so bad for one reason. Elphaba Thropp was going to be my Silvia.

**By the way, Deeply Shallow, if you read this, I know I borrowed your first name for Madam Morrible. Yeah. Take it as a compliment! **

**Thanks for reading! **

**Cheers,**

**Elle Dottore **


	6. Elphaba and Glinda Reherse

**Hi! New chapter! **

**So, I'm probably going to alternate between this and Manek's Tale. Just FYI.**

**Enjoy! **

Chapter 6

Elphaba

The day after my audition, I decided to go and watch Liir Dillamond build his hut. Because of his great exertion, we couldn't talk much, but I was glad to have his company, and I believe he was glad to have mine as well. He was putting on the finishing touches: glass in the windows and furniture and such.

Suddenly, someone called out to me. "Thropp!"

I turned to see none other than Kalidah Freeman, our hangman, the traitor. "What do you want, Freeman?" I asked with just the right amount of disdain in my voice. "I'm busy."

"Oh yes, very busy watching your boyfriend work," he said sarcastically. "I got a message from the lieutenant. Lieutenant Tigulaar. Rehearsal is tomorrow at 9. In the lieutenant's yard. You're definitely his Silvia, he said. And you know what else, Thropp?"

I put my hands on my hips. "What?"

"The lieutenant picked me to be Justice Balance. I get to be your father, Thropp!"

"Go to hell, Freeman." How I wanted to wipe that smirk off his face!

"I think I will!" Freeman exclaimed. "But first, I'm going to stop by the women's camp and notify Mordam and Upland. Catch ya later, darling daughter!"

"Oh, Daddy dearest!" I said in the sweetest voice I could muster. "Don't bother with Glinda Upland. I'll tell her myself."

"Why don't you tell Mordam too?"

"Because she might rip your head off. That'll be fun to see." I went over to Dillamond. "I'm off. But I'll come watch you work later tomorrow, alright?"

"Alright," Dillamond said with a smile. "I'll see you at rehearsal too. I'm playing Captain Brazen, you know?"

I smirked. "I had no idea that Captain Brazen was a Goat."

"I guess he is now." We laughed together, and I could not stop smiling stupidly until I heard a painfully familiar voice.

Nessa and Boq were sitting under a Dukaliptos tree. Because I am a nosy older sister, I hid behind the tree and listened to them. I just really wanted to see how Nessa was. "Dukaliptos trees can only be found here in the Badlands," Nessa told Boq, who was scowling and looking away. "Governor Diggs told me that. And look over there, Boq! You can see Lieutenant Tigulaar's orange trees! Just like in Munchkinland! Would you like to go over to Fiyero's yard and pick some oranges?"

"If I was in Munchkinland, I'd be free." Nessa looked visibly overjoyed at Boq's speech.

"This isn't Restwater, Boq."

"I wish it was. Look, I need freedom sometimes, Nessa."

Nessa sighed deeply. "You can't be free yet. You have to earn it with good behavior."

"Why didn't you just let them hang me in Restwater?"

"Boq, I …"

"You could've taken my corpse and kept that in chains. Here, I can't even talk to people!" Boq was getting really upset now.

"I let you talk to the men!"

Boq scoffed. "Liir Dillamond, Henray Crope! I have nothing to say to those guys!"

"And look, you've already found someone, haven't you?!" Nessa shrieked. "Who is it?! A witch?! A whore?! Where did you take her?! Under a tree?! Or in my tent, like with Manda Backker?!" Boq grew silent again. Nessa sighed. "Look, Lieutenant Tigulaar said you could be in his play. All the male parts have been taken, but you can play Lucy. A maid. It'll challenge you. And you'll rehearse every day with Averic Tenmeadows and the lieutenant."

"So he can watch me instead of you."

"Boq …"

"I wake up in the middle of the night, and you're watching me! What do you think I'm gonna do in my sleep, Nessa?! Always watching me! Watching, watching, watching! JUST STOP WATCHING ME!" He pulled himself off Nessa's lap.

"I just want to make you happy. If you don't want to be in the play, that's fine." Oz, she really did love him.

"I'll be in the play. Like you said, it'll be a challenge."

Nessa raised an eyebrow. "You promise you won't try anything with Upland or El- … anybody?"

"El?" Boq repeated confusedly. "Who do you mean? Elphaba? Your sister?"

"No!" Nessa shouted. "I told you, Boq. She's not my sister … anymore." Oh Oz, she regretted it. It was only Father who truly hated me. Nessa forced a smile. "It's good. It's good that you're getting out there. Will you kiss your Nessa?"

Boq smiled. "Gladly." I left the scene without a sound. Ozdammit, they both loved each other, I could tell, but my sister was being insanely paranoid. If only she would acknowledge me …

I found Glinda sitting on the ground outside the tent that we shared. She looked so preoccupied with counting that I simply couldn't resist. "BOO!" I yelled in her ear.

Just as I expected, Glinda's shriek probably could be heard all the way in the officers' quarters. "Elphie!" she cried. "Don't do that! Do you want me to die?!"

I chuckled. "Are you remembering your lines, Glinda? We've got rehearsal tomorrow at 9 in Lieutenant Tigulaar's yard."

"What lines? No, I was remembering Gilikin. I was on my way back to the Pertha Hills."

I sighed. "You promised Lieutenant Tigulaar you'd learn your lines."

"I wanna go back," Glinda whined. "I want to see purple slopes of the Perthas. I can drive over any mountain, like, as well as Governor Diggs."

"Glinda," I said sharply. "What about your lines?"

She pouted. "I don't want to learn my lines; I wanna go home! I miss Glikkish rain!"

"It rains here."

"It's not the same! Rain in the Pertha Hills is so soft … as soft as Lieutenant Tigulaar's dimpled cheeks!" Glinda giggled, and I felt myself blush.

"Glin, don't!"

"Come on, Elphie, you're wasting your time. He's ripe for the plucking! You can always tell with men, 'cause they start to walk sideways. And if you don't …"

"Don't start! I listened to you once before." That was true. She actually convinced me to sell my body in the wagon. I didn't get much (guess why), but what I got she stole!

"What would you have done without that lanky soldier drooling all over you?"

"I would have been less of a whore. It's not what I was convicted for, and it's not what I want to be, Glinda."

She snorted. "If the Unnamed God didn't want women to be whores, He shouldn't have created men to pay for their bodies." Wow. Glinda was actually giving a pretty coherent debate.

"But if you don't agree to it, then you're not a whore; you're a martyr."

She smirked. "You have to be a virgin to be a martyr, Elphie, and you didn't come on that wagon a virgin. 'K.T., I love thee to the heart,' tattooed all the way up there!" I leaped away as she reached for my skirt.

"That was different! That was love!"

"You also have to be dead to be a martyr. Well, yay, you didn't die, and it was all because of meeee! You had four ounces of meat a week, and two ounces of cheese …"

"Which YOU were happy to eat!"

Glinda shrugged. "Hey, us girls have to look out for one another."

But I was not satisfied yet. "You sold me that first day so that YOU could eat!" Suddenly, the debate was getting less fun.

"Do you want me to learn these lines or not?"

I sighed. "How can I play Silvia? She's brave and strong. She couldn't have done what I've done."

"She didn't spend eight months in a convict wagon," Glinda admitted. "Anyway, it's okay, Elphie, you can just pretend you're her." She didn't understand.

"No," I said. "I have to be her."

"Why?"

"Because. That's acting. C'mon, Glin, let's do the second scene between Silvia and Rose." I opened my script and began to read. "'I have rested but indifferently, and I believe my bedfellow was little pleased. Alas, poor Rose! Here she comes. Good morrow, cousin, how d'ye this morning?' Now you say, 'Just as I was last night: neither better nor worse for you.'"

Glinda was about to say her line when we heard a guffaw. My heart fluttered in my chest. It was Pfanee Mordam.

**That's that! Thanks for reading! **

**Cheers,**

**Elle Dottore **


	7. Thropp, Upland, and Mordam

**Hi! I'm back!**

**Neque Malam neque Bonum Patriae Nostrae habeo. Still a sad fact in Latin.**

**Enjoy!**

Chapter 7

Elphaba

I couldn't help but tremble as Pfanee walked towards us. I had good reason; Pfanee Mordam was the colony's most difficult convict, always getting into fights and such. She eyed my script, and her scowl deepened. "You can't do the play without me!" she exclaimed. "I'm in it! Where are we?"

"She's teaching me my lines," Glinda said haughtily. "Scene between Silvia and Rose. No Melinda to be found. Sorry!"

Pfanee turned to me. "Why aren't you teaching _me my _lines?"

"We're not doing your scenes," I replied.

"Well, do them." She grabbed one of my scripts. Glinda stiffened. I shot her a look. _You don't want to fight with her. _

I sighed. "Fine. We'll do the first scene between Melinda and Silvia."

"What?!" Glinda shrieked. "Are you her friend now?! Elphie, the holy innocent and thieving bitch!" Pfanee started to make a move, but I quickly intervened.

"Glinda. Pfanee. Calm. The first scene, Pfanee?"

Pfanee opened the script. "Yeah. The first scene." She sat down on the ground next to me and stayed silent. What? She was supposed to start the scene!

"You start."

Silence.

"What are you waiting for, Pfanee Mordam?" Glinda asked. "A blind man to buy your wares?!"

More silence.

I huffed. "You start! 'Welcome to town, cousin Silvia …'"

"'Welcome to town, cousin Silvia.'"

"Go on: 'I envied you …'"

"'I envied you.' You read it first." Oh, Lurline help me …

"Why?"

"So I can hear how you do it!"

"Why?!"

"So I can do it different!" I could have argued with her further. In fact, I wanted to! But, if I didn't read the lines, Pfanee would probably kill me.

"Fine. 'Welcome to town, cousin Silvia. I envied you in your retreat to the country, for Shrewsberry, methinks, and all your heads of shires …'"

"Stop! Say it slower."

"Why don't you say it slower?"

Glinda cut in. "Why don't _you _read it?!" She gasped in mock surprise. "You can't read!"

Pfanee shot up. "You wanna say that again, Blondie?" I went into panic mode as they started trying to pin each other to the ground.

"Stop!" I shouted. "This is senseless, you two! Do you WANT Major Morrible to kill all three of us?! I really don't want to use my powers!"

"Oh, go ahead and use them, Elphie," Glinda groaned, in Pfanee's headlock. "Turn her into a dog for me! It wouldn't be much of a change!"

"Ladies!" We all turned to see Freeman approaching us. "Good morning! And why aren't you at work instead of at each other's throats?"

Both Glinda and Pfanee were so shocked to see him that they released each other. _Thank Oz for that. _They rounded on Freeman. "I wouldn't talk of throats if I was you, Mr. Hangman Kalidah Freeman!" Pfanee threatened.

"Yeah!" Glinda added. "You're a sucker!"

Freeman looked a little put off. "I was just asking what you were doing, you know, friendly like."

"You already delivered me your message from the lieutenant like a little pigeon bird," Pfanee mocked. "So don't bother the actresses."

"Actresses? You're practicing the play?"

"We are! It seems like a better hobby than turning off my own kind, noser!"

Freeman flared his nostrils. "I'll nose on you, Pfanee, if you're not careful!" Sweet Lurline, they were about to start another fight!

"Just stick to your ropes, my little galler."

"Crap merchant!" Glinda added.

"Roper!" I practically yelled, feeling like I should get him back for what he had said to me earlier that day.

"Now take your whirligigs out of our sight, Hangman!" Pfanee concluded. "We have lines to learn!"

"Well, I have lines to learn, too," Freeman said, hurt. "But I guess I'll have to learn them on my own. Good day, ladies." He slinked off.

"Don't hangify too many people, Kalidah!" Glinda called after him. "We need an audience!"

"'Welcome to town, cousin Silvia!'" I recited, trying to get them back on track. "It says you salute."

Pfanee nodded at me and gave a military salute. "'Welcome to town, cousin Silvia."

**What do y'all think of Pfanee now?**

**The next chapter won't be from Elphie's POV again, don't worry. But it won't be from Fiyero's either ...**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Cheers,**

**Elle Dottore**


	8. Kalidah's Story

**Oh my Oz, I am SO SORRY this is horrendibly late! I am a lazy person.**

**I still don't own Wicked or Our Country's Good, though.**

**Enjoy!**

Chapter 8

Kalidah

I didn't want to be a hangman. Oz, I didn't even want to commit any crimes! Yet, here I was, in the Badlands, exiled, far away from my home in the Western Glikkus. If only I had never left it! I originally wanted to go to Shiz, but I couldn't get a scholarship. So, I decided to go to the EC. I got a job there, as a transporter of goods from Quadling Country. If I hadn't been at the port to QC on Highsummer 14, in the 17th year of Ozma the Billious' reign, maybe I wouldn't have had to go to this disgusting place.

What happened was this: I was at the port, loading some boxes of shoes onto my trunk. My two friends, Tip and Mombus, were visiting me, and we were just chatting, minding our own business. But then, we heard a commotion. A wagoner from Qhoyre had gotten into a fight with one of my colleagues over carrying charges, and soon enough, all of us were involved. I threw a couple punches, just so I wouldn't look stupid, but I didn't kill anyone. But, they picked five people out of the crowd, and I was one of the five. Lucky me, right? They asked me who started the fight; they told me I had two choices: hang or give the names. What else could I do?

For my troubles, I was sent to the Badlands, with Animals, murderers, rapists, witches, and whores. And all of them developed a hatred for me once I became the hangman. Even Elphaba Thropp, the saintly green angel, spat me off with her friends, Upland and Mordam. I'm afraid I might have to hang Mordam one day …

That night, I visited Lieutenant Tigulaar in his tent. As I approached, I could hear him praying to the Unnamed God. "And please keep my darling Sarima and our dear boy, Irji, alive and well." As I entered, he was about to kiss his wife's picture, but, hearing me, he jumped in surprise. "Kalidah! What in Oz name are you doing here?"

"I'm sorry, sir," I said. "I didn't mean to disturb your prayers. I myself say a hundred every night, and two hundred on days when …" Ozdammit, I was babbling. "I'll let you finish, sir."

Lieutenant Tigulaar sighed. "What do you want, Freeman?"

"The green girl's your whore, right?"

"What?!" he exclaimed, choking on his drink. "No! I don't have whores!"

I backed off. "To be sure, of course! But, I have to tell you – she can be cruel. Her and her friends, they attacked me today!"

He raised his eyebrows. "Attacked you?"

"Yes, sir!"

"Physically?"

"Well … no. But still! I don't deserve such abuse! What did I do wrong?"

"Kalidah, go back to camp," Lieutenant Tigulaar said impatiently. "I'll see you in the morning." But I would not give up.

"You know why I wanted to be in your play, Lieutenant?"

"I don't know and I don't care."

But even so, I told him the story of that fateful day at the port to Quadling Country, and the fight that started, and how I gave the names so I wouldn't be hung. "What would you have done?" I asked him. "If they said, 'Hang or give the names'?"

"I wouldn't have been in that situation, Freeman."

"Oh, of course!" We sat in an awkward silence for a little bit. "I didn't want to die, Lieutenant. 'Cause I'm not sure where I'm going when I die. That's why I can't die! Not until I'm sure."

"That's very understandable, Freeman, but how does that connect to you wanting to be in _The Recruiting Officer_?"

I sighed. "I want respect; I want to be loved! The women here don't want me. All they do is hiss and spit me off!" Lieutenant Tigulaar looked sympathetic, so I decided to tell him my greatest wish. "Lieutenant, I want to be an actor."

**Thanks for reading!**

**Cheers,**

**Elle Dottore**


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